Tomorrow, I will press the “start” button again.
I wanted to write down some thoughts about these past four months of being “logged out” from work. This isn’t a report on success, but a story about a sensitive soul trying to find balance and growth after stepping away from the busy world.
Emotion: From Stress to Peace
When I first quit, my mind was completely blank. It didn’t feel like a normal vacation; it felt like a “compensatory freedom” after selling my time to work for so long.
At first, my body still remembered the stress of work. I would feel anxious just thinking about past office issues. But as my savings started to drop, I was pulled back to reality. I started thinking about things like buying a house and paying rent.
During this time, I redefined my relationship with “work.” I realized that a job shouldn’t be the only way to find myself. It is a tool that helps me afford a better life. For someone sensitive like me, keeping a calm mind and doing my job well is the best way to protect my inner peace.
Growth: Finding Balance in Code and Fitness
I spent my free time working on skills I’ve always wanted to have:
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Physical Training: I started a serious weight-gain plan at my condo gym and Delta Sport Hall. From the shaking of muscles during a bench press to the 150-kg of leg press; from “forcing myself to eat” to feeling “naturally hungry,” I finally took control of my body. Seeing bodyweight number going up (+10kg) and looking myself stronger in the mirror felt more satisfying than finishing any project at work.
Special thanks to Jimmy for the coaching, and to my gym buddies Swenson, Freddy, and Jin Ying for the encouragement.
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Technical Skills: I saw the rise of AI Agents, so I studied RAG architecture and built a Golang AI Agent CLI. In daily life, use AI anywhere and anyhow that can increase productivity. Keeping my tech skills sharp while not working was my way of staying connected to the world.
Of course, not everything was perfect. I tried to cook the “perfect” pasta, but it always turned out too dry. Those dry noodles became a funny part of my journey toward perfection.
Memories: Small but Bright Moments
Life is often found in small moments, not just big events:
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The Joy of Movement: Learning to ice-skate in Johor Bahru, moving from falling down to sliding smoothly. Playing tennis and hitting forehands with my Korean neighbor. These simple moments made life feel like a happy song.
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Traveling: Walking the streets of Ho Chi Minh City, smelling the basil in Pho and tasting the sweet Saigon coffee. It felt familiar yet new at the same time.
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Closing Chapters: Listening to Crowd Lu’s songs and thinking about past relationships. Standing by the river where I once walked with an ex-girlfriend and realizing that time never goes back.
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Being Brave: I was direct and honest with someone I liked. Although I was rejected, I don’t see it as a failure. It was a “completion.” In love, being honest and brave is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Before Returning
These four months taught me what “life” really feels like.
I now understand that “work” and “life” are not enemies. Work gives us the resources and the sense of achievement to afford our hobbies, our fitness, and the courage to pursue love.
Starting tomorrow, I will go back with my sensitive and rich soul. But this time, I have learned how to keep a quiet space for myself even in a busy world.